Tuesday, September 29, 2009

For the meaning of life...read here

Let me just start by saying my parents are kinda awesome. I don't just say that because I am so awesome. People are stunned when I tell them that my Dad is more liberal than me...because they can't quite fathom it. But it's true. He taught me that narrow views are dangerous and that sheltering us would only hinder us in the future. I know most people don't agree with this, but I do. I don't hide things from my kids. The world is a big, bad, ugly place and I need to prepare them to be good people and still exist in it. As most of you know I'm also a teensy bit intense. This also comes from my parents. When I disagree with you, it is just out of love of arguing/debating. I love disagreeing with people. It is just that I am always right and you are always wrong.

That being said, my dad is old and has a lot to say. We were talking about how we were tired of being the minority because we are liberals (and right...well we are left but you know what I mean) and he wrote this "essay" of sorts and I liked it. It has some basic wisdom of someone who has realized that life stinks sometimes. I think I have skipped ahead to his last step because I'm pretty darn bitter already. Again, when you read Lars' words you will understand why I am so intense and why I feel like I can say what I want whenever I want to whomever I choose. It is amazing that I have any friends at all. Thanks Lars. Oh, and make his day by commenting to this. He loves a good debate as much as me.

On Getting Older by Larry Schaugaard (a.k.a. Lars)

A short essay by the renowned Author of such great works as “How to bother my Republican Ward members and not get excommunicated.”

At the age of eight I wanted to know everything. I spent most of my time asking about the world around me and I accepted all information that was given to me regardless of how absurd the information might have been.

By the age of twelve I thought I was pretty much grown up. I began to feel like I knew a few things about the world. I was still asking plenty of questions but I wasn’t so willing to listen and believe what I was being told.

Eighteen was a special age for me. I had just finished High School (which in many ways was quite traumatic), but I was now going to live life on my own terms. At this time I thought I knew everything that was worth knowing and I was the most secure in my attitude about the world around me and the direction I was going in it. I had wonderful dreams of the great things I would accomplish.

…Then I turned 25 and a strange thing started to happen. Cracks began developing in my invincibility. I had the sad realization that there were things I might not know. Even worse than that, I might not be controlling as much of the world around me as I once thought. Sleepless started happening.

At the age of 35, as a parent, I realized to my great surprise, that it wasn’t just a few things I didn’t know… it was most things. It was at this age that my central worldview was crushed. My long-held belief that I controlled the world around me was in fact a complete illusion. I was still clinging to the idea that while many things were uncontrollable, I still had power over certain aspects of my life. Sleepless nights started occurring more frequently.

At the age of 40 it became a certainty that I didn’t know a damn thing and that life was simply a random set of events that I had little if any control over. In fact the only true control came from how I reacted to the random, unfair, and at times laughable situations life was throwing at me.

At 45 my metamorphosis was complete. I came to the conclusion that I really don’t know anything about the world I live in. I became bitter and mean because I had completely lost my illusion that I controlled anything in my world.

At 50, I felt hope starting to swell once again in my aging soul. I still didn’t know anything or control most things but because of my bitterness at learning the truth of my life I have now learned as a “stranger in a strange land” (that of being a very liberal active Mormon which seems to be an oxymoron in the state of Utah) that telling people who truly bother me to go f#$% themselves. I can now relax more at night. Sleepless nights are becoming less frequent.

At 55+, bliss is starting to set in. My old soul still doesn’t know much, controls even less, and has lost all its hopes and dreams, but I have now adopted an attitude that precludes me from giving two #$%&s about most of the insane world around me. I have now come to the part of my life that allows me to, depending on my mood at the time, either take someone’s head off or ignore them completely when some minor infractions against me might occur. I have begun taking pleasure in the small things in life such as voting a straight Democratic ticket, just so I can tell people at my VERY Republican church what I did and get under their skin. Or by going to see Michael Moore at UVU and then tell people how much I enjoyed it so I can see their reaction. I find that in the end life can still be an adventure even if that adventure is nothing more than voicing my opinion to those who don’t share my views (and bothering them). And as I contribute to the insanity of this world, sleeping is beginning to occur regularly without regret.





8 comments:

Sylvia said...

I'm confused.

I get what "f#$%" is supposed to be because you gave it a starting letter. But I'm still trying to figure out what swear word "#$%&s" is.

I've come up with 2 possibilities. I'll run them by my RS pres and see what she thinks.

On another note, Rachel, remember the time we went trick or treating till like 10:30 at night and Larry was the lucky parent who got to round us up in the minivan? I still remember that night. Thanks Mr. Schaugaard!

Rachel said...

Now I'm confused too, but it must be a real bad word. I don't think I have ever heard anyone call my dad "Mr. Schaugaard" I giggled a little. For the record he refers to you as "Crazy Sylvia." He he.

birdman33 said...

Funny that you wrote and posted this...I was just attempting to write on my facebook page about the lack of tolerance in our particularly homogeneous surroundings. A recent local news story prompted this. After several attempts at formulating something clever/meaningful though, I abandoned the effort. I am rarely clever and am not known for being meaningful either. Tonight was no exception. This was better put anyway. Good work Lars. And just to clear things up, I am pretty sure #$%&s could be rewritten as s@!#$. As in, "I don't give two s@!#$ about that."

Andrea Templeman said...

You've got yourself a typo. In the 25 year old paragraph...you are missing a "t" at the end of "not". Okay, I'll keep reading now.
(sorry, I know that's annoying, but I can't help myself)

Andrea Templeman said...

So, you know how they say "you marry your dad". As in, you marry someone who turns out to be just like your dad...well, I never really thought that was true about myself until this moment. But I didn't marry my own dad, I married yours! Which makes perfect sense, I spent almost all of my "influential" teenage years at your house.

Now, please post a copy of:
“How to bother my Republican Ward members and not get excommunicated.”

Karrie said...

Rachel I love this. It just sums things up so simply. I now know why Jason thinks Lars is so cool. I dont know if my liberal views have come from marrying one or if I just finally came to my senses but either way I am so glad!!!

Anonymous said...

like i've said the letter could use some more sarcasim and arguments more. but dad u hit it on the nose, ohhhh how sad a people we are. lol

kschaug said...

Hey Rach-
I will agree that you have an awesome dad. Aren't I lucky to have married this wise OLD man.You know how some people go in feet first? He goes in first with his brilliance & humility and then with his loud voice & B.S. I am so blessed. I have no idea why people think we are so sarcastic? Was that the great man I married at the age of 18 yrs and 3 weeks.