Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Fake News

Like everyone else, I am a little sick of politics right now (but not sick of arguing with Republicans, because that never gets old). Every news station is just recycling the same old information and I'm tired of all of it. Plus Rand has to limit my news watching, because I can't sleep after I watch how our country is completely falling apart. My solution is to only watch comedy central for my political news. I love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. They not only tell you what is going on while making it funny, they always give you someone to blame (lately they have been blaming a lot on Alan Greenspan..and I'm okay with that).

Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm Not Worthy

I have the best husband in the world.

I have been completely useless the past few weeks. I haven't even been in the laundry room in at least 10 days, but the laundry keeps getting washed and put away. I can't cook or do dishes without throwing up, but the kids haven't complained about starving to death, so he must be taking care of that too. On Saturday I was having a particularly bad day and he took the kids to the Zoo and let me have 4 hours of complete silence. I love him so. He is the best housewife ever. If only he could do the throwing up for me too...

**I have been asked to add that my husband's domestic skills are rivaled only by his extremely good looks. Who says you can't have it all?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'd like to buy a vowel

The spinning wheel noise is back. It is really loud today. The intensity of the volume seems to be directly correlated with the amount of sleep I had the night before.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Crazy Pregnant Brain

What is it about being pregnant that makes me feel like I am losing my mind? I know I am scatterbrained on a regular basis, but I really feel like I am missing some very vital brain cells. Yesterday I rinsed my contact lenses out with cleaner instead of saline and I burnt the surface of my eye off (it still looks like I have a bad case of pink-eye). And today I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. I got out of the shower and went to blow-dry it and couldn't figure out why my hair was so greasy. I can't remember where I parked, or if the peanut butter goes in the fridge or the pantry, or my own phone number. Help me! This is a real condition-right?

Friday, October 17, 2008

Formal Announcement

So...I feel a little bad that the announcement of my pregnancy was kind of a side note at my pity-party yesterday. I guess I thought everyone knew. Anyway, I am due May 5th. Maura is very, very excited as long as it is a girl, and Collin is hoping for a baby Buzz Lightyear. Keep your fingers crossed! And no need to curse me with twins, we already know there is only one.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Happy Birthday Kris!

Oh crap! I almost forgot my mom's birthday today too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU! After having a daughter of my own, I appreciate you even more. I wish you were having a better day than me, but I have a feeling you probably aren't. At least we can share our misery on your special day.

Make Checks Payable to...

I usually try to keep my posts lighthearted....I figure life sucks enough that you don't need to read about my problems. So I apologize for this post, but I guess I just need a little therapeutic venting. Here are the facts:

1) My husband lost his job a month and a half ago
2) I found out I was pregnant a week later (trying to be excited, and I'm sure I will get there)
3) I have thrown up an average of 5 times a day the past month and haven't slept more than 3 hours a night
3) My boss quit today...so I'm pretty sure this means I don't have a job either
4) I have two little kids who don't care about any of the above and need me to take care of them and pretend like everything is fine.

Needless to say, my stress levels are at record highs. And trust me, they are usually at a fairly high level on a regular day, so the meter is about broken at this point.

Send well-wishes my way. I need them. But don't hug me the next time you see me. I'm not there yet. I might be soon. I will keep you posted.

Wow. That was enough self-pity for a lifetime. I feel a little guilty about indulging, considering there are plenty of people who would trade my problems for theirs in a second. Well maybe not plenty, but at least a few.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Low Self Esteem

I just dusted my treadmill. I am pathetic.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Why Does the Caged Bunny Hide?

I am not an animal lover. I never have been. I don't really understand the human-pet bond that seems to exist among other people and their animals. So last year when Maura begged for a pet, I thought long and hard about an animal I could put up with. Cats are creepy and gross, dogs are too much work, birds are too noisy and reptiles escape never to be seen again. We finally decided on the small animal variety, but again it was hard to find anything I liked enough to name and spend any effort trying to keep alive. Ferrets are ugly and disgusting and since Emily and I witnessed our pet hamsters eating their young when we were little, they are out too. I don't care how cute and cuddly you are, once you have been seen holding the headless corpse of your offspring, you can't come back from that. So we decided on a bunny. They don't make noise and they live in a cage. Done. We found a cute little fluffy white bunny and brought her home. Mostly she is a the perfect pet. She is litter box trained and pretty clean. We can let her out and hold her and pet her and then put her back when we are sick of her. Plus she lives in the laundry room and I have someone to talk to when I am folding clothes.

However, Sophie the bunny and I are not friends right now. She recently learned how to hop up the stairs and has taken a liking to hiding under Colllin's bed. I just spent the last 45 minutes trying to coax her out. I actually yelled the words "Sophie, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way!" In case you are wondering, there is no easy way and the hard way involves a broom and lots of swearing. I finally recruited Maura to scare her out and I grabbed her before she realized what was happening.

After that Collin put her in well-deserved time-out and yelled that she was a naughty bunny.

The bunny is staying in her cage for a few days. Maybe she will be let out for good behavior in time.

Friday, October 3, 2008

That is what you get for losing!

So...does anybody else find it creepy that the corn maze at Thanksgiving Point is shaped like David Archuleta? I would like to have been in that meeting when they were trying to decide the theme for the year. "I know, let's do a maze shaped like that guy who lost on American Idol!" "Hey, that is a GREAT idea."

Although, in the spirit of Halloween creepiness, I guess in a weird way it is appropriate.