Friday, February 17, 2012

Bad Romance

I bet you have been wondering where I have been lately. My family has been too. I've been at work for the past 7 months and not really anywhere else. You know how it is, you find an employer, you start dedicating all your time to them because you think they care about you as much as you care about them. Then you realize they are sort of mean sometimes. But maybe it is your fault, you just need to do better. So you start hanging out more and even when you are home you are thinking about work instead of other things. And your friends try and tell you that it isn't healthy, but you don't first. But the red flags are there. You see that this isn't a mutual thing. They don't care about you. They are just using you and you can never be enough for them. I was in denial for a long time, but I finally cut the ties and we broke up. I thought it would be hard to be alone without a job, but it isn't. I realized it just wasn't a healthy relationship. And the good times weren't enough to justify the bad times. And although I don't really know what to do with all of my spare time, I'm trying to stay busy. I don't know if I'm ready for a new company yet. I think I need some time to just be Rachel. And then maybe when I have healed I will go look for the ONE. The right one that respects me and treats me well. Because I deserve that.

So ya, I quit my job. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I LOVE staying home. I know it will end, but I'm enjoying it now. Max has even stopped calling me Daddy.