Friday, February 17, 2012

Bad Romance

I bet you have been wondering where I have been lately. My family has been too. I've been at work for the past 7 months and not really anywhere else. You know how it is, you find an employer, you start dedicating all your time to them because you think they care about you as much as you care about them. Then you realize they are sort of mean sometimes. But maybe it is your fault, you just need to do better. So you start hanging out more and even when you are home you are thinking about work instead of other things. And your friends try and tell you that it isn't healthy, but you don't listen...at first. But the red flags are there. You see that this isn't a mutual thing. They don't care about you. They are just using you and you can never be enough for them. I was in denial for a long time, but I finally cut the ties and we broke up. I thought it would be hard to be alone without a job, but it isn't. I realized it just wasn't a healthy relationship. And the good times weren't enough to justify the bad times. And although I don't really know what to do with all of my spare time, I'm trying to stay busy. I don't know if I'm ready for a new company yet. I think I need some time to just be Rachel. And then maybe when I have healed I will go look for the ONE. The right one that respects me and treats me well. Because I deserve that.

So ya, I quit my job. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I LOVE staying home. I know it will end, but I'm enjoying it now. Max has even stopped calling me Daddy.

4 comments:

Team O'Connor said...

I'm glad you quit. There's no reason in letting work stress you out. You're really only there for the money and that should be it. I hope you find a job where people respect each other and treat everyone like human beings. That would be nice. Enjoy your time at home :)

Rachel said...

Thanks Carrie! Ya, I was making myself physically ill by stressing so much so something had to give. Nobody would buy my kids, so the next logical thing to get rid of was the job. I don't want to start a debate about whether being a stay at home mom is harder than working...but for me working is so much harder. And after I get Max to stop throwing 100 tantrums a day, it will be even better. I know I will have to get another job, but for now I just need to be a mom. I just worked with a lot of people who's lives were their work, and work will never be that important to me, like you said it is just for the paycheck. I don't need the drama, I have enough of it in my life :)

Kelline said...

Amen, jobs/employers can definitely break the heart of your aspirations. I traded it in for school and we seem to be getting along great as long as math doesn't try to impose it's will on me.

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