Saturday, July 25, 2009

Field Trip

We are on a quest this summer to see/do everything cheap and free in Utah. Last week we crossed another one off the list by heading up to Hill Air Force Base to see the museum there. We took our kids, some that weren't ours, and of course Lars.

The kids had a blast and I thought it was pretty darn neat. It is also nice to have someone with you that can answer the million questions you have (Lars). The only bad part of the otherwise great day were all of the fake guys in the glass cases showing the uniforms. CREEPY! Here is one of them, but there are cases of them that you walk through and I felt like they were watching me. I have a thing about mannequins. I have a thing about a lot of things. In case you haven't noticed.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

...and I feel fine

Do you ever have recurring dreams? Or the same kind of dream over and over? I do. There is the one where Emily and I die Thelma and Louise style off a cliff, I have that one a lot. Don't know what it means. But that one doesn't really bother me (it does bother Em though, she still gets nervous when we are in a car alone together). For about 10-15 years I have had these crazy end-of-the-world dreams. The world has ended in every way imaginable. They are horrible, awful, completely realistic dreams. I wake up screaming, sweating, sometimes crying. I have them a few times a year. Occasionally Rand will just pat my back or say "how did it end this time?" So how does the world end? Well most recently it has been floods, killer bats, nuclear war, and of course aliens with lasers. There is one thing that is always the same in these dreams. I am always one of the last survivors and everyone I know is gone (a.k.a. dead, eaten, burned, lasered, etc.). And I am always running for my life.

The reason I am writing about all of this is because I had THE most disturbing end of the world dream EVER. And that is saying a lot. So here goes. No laughing. It was really scary. I can't even explain how terrified I was. Are you ready now? How about now? Okay. For reals this time.

Flash forward a few years and drugs and illegal immigration has gotten really out of control. So the government engineers these under-water robots to keep boats from bringing people and drugs into the country. Well, somehow the scientist made these robots too good. And they mutate. They get really, really big. And mean. Imagine the Iron Giant if he were mean and had a skeleton head. Anyway, these robots become human-crushers. They come onto land and keep growing bigger and bigger and they crush all of the humans in the world. Everyone but me and a few other people. They chase me everywhere and crush everyone around me and just as one is about to get me.....I wake up.

I hope you had a good laugh. Like I said, it doesn't sound scary when I tell it. But trust me, it had me begging for the swarms of killer bats. And they were REAL bad.

Maybe I should have a new blog.

I'm not allowed to watch movies or the news anymore.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Call The Discovery Channel!

Because I have given birth to a bear cub, not a baby. Max had his 2 month check up this week and he weighed...wait for it....13 pounds 15 ounces. That's right, he almost doubled his birth weight in 2 months. I guess that is what we get for naming him Max Bruno. Max indeed.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Just to Clarify...

Dear Dental Hygienist Lady:

We need to clear things up. We aren't friends. When I come in and you are all friendly and nice to me, asking me about my kids and telling me you like my earrings, you are sending me mixed signals and its confusing. Because then you come at me with that sharp, scraper thingy and you hurt me. Really, really bad. It's like you hate me and think I deserve to be punished. You ask me if I'm okay, but you don't stop long enough for me to tell you that no, I'm not okay and if you don't stop I'm going to hold YOU down and use your instruments of torture against you. And then tell you how cute your shoes are. Which they aren't, they are kind of ugly. But very practical.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Reality Bites

Does the reality of your life sometimes sneak up and smack you in the face? It does that to me occassionally and some days it makes me smile and other days it makes me curl up in a ball and rock back and forth. Today it was the latter. I was hoping to be at the Jenny Lewis and Bon Iver concert tonight, but instead I found myself at the grocery store buying milk and an onion. As I wandered the isles of the evil empire known as Walmart, I couldn't find anything I was looking for and I was grumbling under my breath (and swearing, not so under my breath) and then I came to the sad realization that I actually BELONGED at Walmart at 7:00 at night. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. But then I saw the cutest little boy who was so tired from having so much fun for hours outside today that he fell asleep 10 seconds after his heat hit the ground. And I felt okay again. Until tomorrow.

Monday, July 6, 2009

4th of July

We had a fabulous 4th. It is the one day of the year we get to use our massive backyard and the kids had a blast while we ate ourselves true American fashion.

The women-folk were in the kitchen cooking (where we belong)

Collin decided early in the morning that he wanted some tattoos (he calls them tic-tac-toos). So we made a run to the store and we all got inked together.

Friday, July 3, 2009

I Like To Ride My Bicycle, I Like To Ride My Bike

I'm trying to join in the lovefest of summer and enjoy it as much as everyone else...but it is difficult for me. There is plenty to love. BBQ's, the kids being outside most of the day, the slip n' slide slide, and of course Collin riding his big boy bike (he is getting so big!)

But there is the part I hate too.

#1 The heat and I don't get along. As Lars would say "we sweat on relatively cool days." Too much information...right? Sorry. It's true.

#2 Baseball. I actually love baseball, it is my favorite sport. I used to go to all of Rand's games and was known to play in a few leagues myself (and I'm not too bad for a girl). That all ended when this happened:

A foul ball straight to a 10 month old's face and a ride in an ambulance will end your love of baseball real quick. We tried to go to an Orem Owlz game last summer and after having a ball land a few yards away from us, I spent the rest of the time in the playground with the huge net around it. Maura isn't the least bit scared of baseballs hitting her in the face...strange. If you look close you can actually see the imprint of the stitches from the baseball.

#3 You know what it is. They are out. They are after me. They are vile. They shall not be named.