Just to Clarify...

Dear Dental Hygienist Lady:

We need to clear things up. We aren't friends. When I come in and you are all friendly and nice to me, asking me about my kids and telling me you like my earrings, you are sending me mixed signals and its confusing. Because then you come at me with that sharp, scraper thingy and you hurt me. Really, really bad. It's like you hate me and think I deserve to be punished. You ask me if I'm okay, but you don't stop long enough for me to tell you that no, I'm not okay and if you don't stop I'm going to hold YOU down and use your instruments of torture against you. And then tell you how cute your shoes are. Which they aren't, they are kind of ugly. But very practical.