Let me preface this by saying that I should not be allowed in public. I should be supervised at all times. My lack of filter is going to get me beat up one day.
I had to go to Target, that I used to love, but not so much anymore. I am usually (always) there for a RX refill and end up wandering around getting angry at things. But lets back up, shall we? It all started when I attempted to enter the store. I, thinking crosswalks are for PEOPLE WALKING, almost got run down by a big SUV with a lady in sunglasses more expensive than this computer talking on her phone. She slammed on her brakes and saw me RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER and I yelled "See the lines lady, crosswalk means I walk, you stop!" She couldn't hear me but just rolled her eyes and continued on. Then the pharmacy didn't have my medicine ready (why would they, it is only their job) so I had 30 minutes to kill. After perusing the little girls section and realized that NOTHING there was appropriate for a 7 year old girl, got mad and went to the book section, normally my happy place. But I find 1. A parenting book by Kate Goslin B. 2 books by Lauren Conrad and C. The most heinous of all crimes, A freaking Kardashian "book" right next to a memoir called "The homeless girl's guide." Also, Catcher in the Rye was right underneath. Seriously people? So the natural thing to do was to move the memoir next to Catcher in the Rye and move some lame book by one of the housewives of somewhere famous for nothing next to the Kardashians. It gave me little relief. After 45 minutes I finally got out the door with necessary (obviously) medicine in hand. As I left, with no incident in the crosswalk this time, I noticed some punk kid parked in one of the last handicapped parking stalls. I take this personally. I know many disabled people and I once had casts on both my feet for months and could never find a space because people like this jackass think they are entitled to park there. Not only was he taking the last space closest to the store, he had his "angry" white rap-rock crap blaring from his stereo...with his window down to show everyone how manly he was. I saw a lady get into the handicap stall next to him (she was ACTUALLY handicapped) and she shot a look of disgust to him and I was thinking things in my head then realized I was actually doing and saying them out loud. I tapped his car with my foot and he looked up and I said "You are in a handicap stall dipshit. Being disabled about your music choices don't count." And he stared at me through his side swept bangs and looked shocked that anyone would say anything. I kept walking hoping he wasn't mentally unstable and then lauged in the car at the thought of him telling his girlfriend or boyfriend...oh who are we kidding he was waiting for his girlfriend and trying to look manly, and telling her "This crazy old lady called me a dipshit and then some stuff that didn't make sense." Like I said...I am going to get beat up one day, but sometimes I just can't help myself. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to pop a cap in my ass with his invisible gun. But still. Keep me supervised. At ALL times. And when necessary, slap you hand over my mouth and escort me to my car.
4 comments:
this is why I like you
if I were there right now I'd hug you, YOU CAN'T PUSH AWAY MY LOVE RACHEL
Kalli, we have met many times at Target. I know if you had been walking with me, you would have been very supportive of my decision to call this stupid kid out. Maybe next time he won't park there because he is scared that some old lady with crazy in her eyes will yell at him. I'm still laughing a little. I mean, I always think these things, they just usually don't come out of my mouth until I'm in my car.
Hahaha! In my hugeness I've wished to park in handicap spots. I lucked out the other day in parking next to the handicaps when a perfectly healthy, skinny-butt, 40 something woman pulls into the handicap spot and races my waddle to the store front. I couldn't help laughing to myself for her brazenness—she actually parked in the handicapped spot! And I double checked her windshield to see if she even had the decal for it. Nope. What's worse is I beat her back to the cars.
Hahahahaha! Best blog post ever. Please never try and filter your words...unless you move to the south side of any major city. As long as you're in Utah I feel like you'll make it out alive but maybe you should consider getting your concealed carry permit. Just as a precaution :) Hahaha. I love it.
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