I know we all have to deal with people we don't like from time to time, but lately people have just been bothering me. Maybe it is because I am pregnant. Maybe it is because I would rather be at home in my sweat pants than at work. Whatever the reason, I have a few comments for the people I am forced to interact with on a daily basis. And don't worry, if you work with me and you are reading this blog, I'm probably not talking about you. But I could be.
Guy who paces the aisles talking loudly into his blue tooth: Don't invade my cubicle space with your attempts to seem productive. Just sit at your desk and pretend to be busy like the rest of us.
"Person" who I have worked with for years but you still don't know my name: Never mind, there is probably no need for you to know my name. You wear suits and are more important than me.
Insecure male: I know I'm female. Women's rights and all.. get over it.
Mostly everyone: Are you really getting an email important enough to stop listening to me and start typing on your blackberry? REALLY?! It can't wait two seconds until we finish our conversation?
Person who thinks we are best friends: Just because you call me "BRUNO!" every time you see me does not make us friends. Ever notice how I'm always on a phone call when you are at my desk? There isn't anyone on the other line.
Lady who gives me a disapproving look every time you see me with a Diet Coke: It isn't crack, okay? And no matter how much caffeine that I consume during my pregnancy, my kids will still be cuter and smarter than yours.
Person who blogs all day at work and is always disinfecting their desk with Lysol wipes because they are afraid of germs: Oh, wait that is me.
Lady who parks her giant minivan in visitor parking because she is too lazy to take the 10 extra steps from the other parking spaces: Me again.
I know I sound cruel, but like I said, it is one of those days. And I get a pass because of the whole pregnant thing. I checked into it.
9 comments:
Wo, glad those last two were you, cause as I read them I was like, Eeee, Rachel would NOT like me... When's that baby coming out? I can't remember. I hope you feel better and remember: pregnancy justifies ALL, my friend. Except crack. That's not okay.
Sylvia, I'm pretty sure I would like you soooo much more than some of the people I work with. Baby is to come sometime in May. I get a different due date every time I go, but I'm hoping for sooner rather than later. I'm sure it will be May 31st.
Fine, I'll stop calling you BRUNO, as I walk down the hall taking on my bluetooth, writing on my BB and drinking Sprite.
Suit-- Definitely not me.
Woman's Rights-- I'm the poster child for the silent whistle.. so probably not me.
Blue Tooth?-- Not me.
Blackberry-- Don't have one.
The only person I call Bruno is that weird cleaning crew guy. I think his name is Jerry.
I do sometimes give you disapproving looks but you're generally not holding a diet coke and I'm not a lady, though maybe you're being cryptic to spare my tender feels-- in which case: Mission Accomplished!
Lol. I miss working with you.
And yes. Let's do lunch and talk Lost.
whoa. that's all i gotta say
So freaking funny! I know most of who you are talking about, now you are going to have to fill me in on the rest!
This post brought out my "Evil" laugh. I too hate those bluetooth pacers--why do they have to do in front of MY desk! I can't imagine that the Diet Coke disapprover is from Mktg because everyone there is on it. I have been drinking Diet Pepsi and hoping my daughter isn't too affected. But what can you do when it's the only thing motivating you? I'm glad to know it won't affect her looks anyway.
Yes, it's the pregnancy talking because I have many days with similar internal dialogue and, yes, we get a pass.
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